Getting Back to Normal After A Life Storm

Once upon a time, a storm hit my life.  In the aftermath I looked around and to my surprise there was debris everywhere.  Total chaos and confusion.  Okay, I really should not have been surprised, but when you're in the midst of a storm sometimes the storm is all you can see. Especially, if the storm is a long time coming and then continues to go on and on and on, and on..and...yes, on. 

There was no order or structure anywhere it seemed.  I struggled to find one little place, one little thing that was 'right' after such a horrendous event, for this was no small storm.  When I did find one thing I clung to it for dear life, for me, it was reading my Bible daily.  

It was the one thing I could do, somedays it was all I could do, to hang on to reality, normalcy and structure.  Then one day I realized that I was ready for more.  It was a long hard road to get there and the next step was figuring out what needed to be done to regain some structure.  After many failed attempts, I came to the conclusion that I needed to take baby steps.  So, one at a time, I added things.  

I homeschool my 4 youngest children so this came next on the list.  To do school everyday in a routine manor.  Once that was going well and I knew I was ready for more (which took months I might add) I added some necessary things around the house.  It seemed overwhelming at first but I thought of the little poem that goes something like this:
Monday: Wash Day
Tuesday: Ironing Day
Wednesday: Sewing Day
Thursday: Market Day
Friday: Cleaning Day
Saturday: Baking Day
Sunday: Day of Rest
 

At least it gave me a place to start.  I don't sew or iron so I changed some things.  Mine looked more like this:
Monday: Wash Day (this means I do 4-5 loads of laundry and put it all away.  The rest of the week I only have to do 1 per day)
Tuesday: Kitchen Day (includes cleaning a couple of shelves in the fridge, making some freezer meals, baking bread and cleaning cabinets inside and out.  Not all the same week of course!  Some weeks I may do 1, others 2 sometimes I may be on a roll and get 2 1/2 done.)
Wednesday: Office Day (paying bills, working on my budget, balancing checkbook, filing papers, cleaning bookshelves, making lists, etc)
Thursday: Project Day (I love projects.  This can be anything from painting the bathroom cabinet to making paper bunnies with the grandboys.  Kind of my reward day.)
Friday: Cleaning Day (this includes all rooms inside, garage, our vehicle, and silly but the yard and garden go here)
Saturday: Sabbath (Our Sabbath is from Friday at sundown to Saturday at Sundown)
Sunday: First day of the week.  The Lords Day (we go to church then enjoy fellowship with family and or friends)
 

I am not an over achiever so I only give 1-2 hours to each item per day.  Of course some take longer, but the general rule is that I try to not get in over my head, overwhelmed, then give up.
I actually sat down and wrote a list of everything I had to do in a week then for a day.  I prioritized it, made 'morning routine' and 'evening routine' lists.  Later I was able to add things like 'before lunch routine' 'lunch time routine' 'after lunch routine' and one of my favorites when I had young children '4:00 routine' (time to pick up those toys from the day and put school books away).  

It has never worked in our house to say, "everyday at 10:00 we are going to do history"  it does work, however, to say, "everyday when Language Arts are finished we will do History".  Eventually, I was able to figure out how many hours I have in my day, then decide how much time I wanted to spend on each 'to do' item on my list.  Next, was making the list of what 'to do item' goes where.  When I made groups of routines it seems doable. 

 As I put my focus on the little bit I could do each day, time passed.   I looked around, the storm was over, life was good and I smiled.

It's All In The Perspective

Years ago, I heard a quote that has become a useful 'tool'.  I am not sure of the author, so I can't give credit where it is due, but it goes something like this:  "Any event is altered by the perspective from which it is seen."  I have made use of this many times over the years, in many situations.  It has helped me get through some tough times and it has helped me to laugh during less tough times.  Typically think of it once a month.  Yes, that's when.  The monthly cycle.  I am convinced this was meant to be a time of resting and rejoicing!  Remember, it is all in the perspective from which we see it.
Recently, a friend shared with me that she always gives herself 7 days off during her menstrual cycle. She doesn't even wait to see if she is gonna feel tired, achey or crampy.  She just marks it on her calander!  I was excited about this and  it really got me thinking how much God loves us. 
You see, in the days of the Old Testament a woman having her menstral cycle was considered ritually unclean (perspective!  stick with me!).  Everything she touched was unclean.  So, to make it easier on everyone the women were made to leave camp for 7 days.  Ladies, are we catching on here?  Once a month God planned a 7 day all out GIRL PARTY!  I can just imagine it!  The women would take turns cooking for each other, they would care for each other, they would laugh and dance and rest!  They would make big batches of cookies and eat them all!  They would get a break from the every day hustle and bustle of life.  Refresh and relax.  No dishes to wash, no laundry to fold, no goat milk to clean off the tent walls.  Just the leisure life.  How great is that?
Even better was to give birth.  A woman was ritually unclean for 40 days after having a son.  But for the prize of a daughter you got a full 80 days off.  This was just short of 3 months!  Can you believe it? Just hanging out with the girls, being pampered and waited on.  You know how women love to pamper!  Can you imagine this being the best time, something all the women looked forward to?  All wisely planned out by a Creator more Loving than we can imagine.  God says we need to take time to love ourselves.  To get plenty of good rest and relaxation. Unfortunately, somewhere in time the parties ended (possibly because someone had the wrong perspective about the girl parties).  Today we go non-stop or what seems like it.  We are over worked, over stressed and overly tired.  From my perspective, ladies, God is the one who decided we deserve a break today.  While a 80, 40 or even 7 day vacation with the girls isn't always possible in today's world, you do have the option of 7, 40 or even 80 minutes a day just to rest and relax.  Maybe, you can even plan a girl party. Maybe, you can slow down for 7 days out of the month.  And when you run into a frustrating situation stop grab this 'tool' and look from a different prospective.  It is a wonderful, healthy way to make a small yet positive change in yourself.

Wha'ts In The Name

In mid 2009, after a very hard prior year, I found myself talking to God more and more about His desire for my life.  It wasn't long before He lead me to websites about Life Coaching.  The more I read, the more interested I was.  By chance I clicked on a site for a Life Coach who was doing everything I wanted to do.  I quickly sent her and email to get more information.  Isn't it just like God that it turned out she was in the next town and more than willing to help me in any way she could.  Since then she has coached me; taught me, held my hand, gently nudged me, got down on the mat with me and cheered me on and encouraged me.  

In 2010 I began taking classes to become a Life Coach.  I prayed about a name for my new business.  I prayed and prayed and prayed some more.  The whole time I kept going back to a Scripture the Lord had Spoken to me many years before, Exodus 20:20.  To keep it in context I will start at verse 18 and end at 21.
And all the people saw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking: and when the people saw it, they removed, and stood afar off. And they said unto Moses, Speak thou with us, and we will hear: but let not God speak with us, lest we die. 20And Moses said unto the people, Fear not: for God is come to prove you, and that his fear may be before your faces, that ye sin not. 21And the people stood afar off, and Moses drew near unto the thick darkness where God was.

This is my life verse, it reminds me that I want to be where Moses was.  Near and not afar off.  That when I see the thunderings, and the lightnings, when I hear the noise of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking (in other words when life is HARD) it is possible, very possible that it is God coming to prove (giving  opportunity to draw close to Him and be more pleasing to Him).

20:20 also refers to acuteness or clearness of vision.  I translate this to mean the vision God has for me and the vision He has for the people He will have pass through my path.  The vision every Christian should be after.  The Vision of Drawing Near to God.  So, here I am to say: "Fear not: for God is come to prove you, and that his fear may be before your faces, that ye sin not".  I will teach you, hold your hand, gently nudge you, get down on the mat to cheer you on and encourage you. 
The 20:20 Coach