Smoldering Stubs

This past week has been long and hard.  Various things were going on, it almost seemed like there was a problem in every area of my life.  There were a  few 'impossible' situations to deal with or at least think of the best way they should be dealt with.  Someone dear to my heart was hospitalized.  One of my children got put into a bad situation that couldn't really be avoided.  Old health problems coming back.  Divorce attorney, that just says stress.  Bad news here and hard times there.  

I found myself crying out 'Where are you God?  What is going on?"  I remember hearing Elizabeth Elliot say it is not our place to question God, only to trust Him.  As I picked up the "Solution (aka God's Word)" too look for the right answer.  I read Isaiah 7.  It says something like this.  King David's family was told that a couple of kings were getting together to go against them. The Bible records their hearts were shaken as the trees of the forest are shaken by the wind.  That really caught my attention.  That was how I felt this very week.  I had been, once again, shaken.  Shaken hard.  I knew my answer was here.  Then God spoke, He told Isaiah to go tell David's family,  "Be careful, keep calm and don’t be afraid. Do not lose heart because of these two smoldering stubs of firewood".  Really?  I had to stop and think.  Keep calm.  Don't be afraid.  Smoldering stubs?  I suppose to God that was all it is.  No big deal.  Just some smoldering stubs not two big, huge armies. Then the Lord told them what would and wouldn't happen.  God said "Ask the LORD your God for a sign, whether in the deepest depths or in the highest heights."  

Wow!  I really can understand the response because this is just how I felt between the time I read what God said and that response.  David's family said, "I will not ask; I will not put the LORD to the test.”  Oops.  God pretty much said, guys, don't try my patience, just do what your told.  My words of course.   

 I would love to have the faith that Mrs. Elliot had, never questioning always believing.  At this point in my life I don't.  I am more like the Israelites wondering in the desert grumbling and complaining.  When will this end?  Will I eat beans and rice forever?  Did you bring me out here to kill me?  Am I going to die before I ever even see the promised land?  More like David's family being shaken and saying, 'No way will I test God'.  But, here He is right when I ask.  With just the right answers.  Telling me that it is not only okay to ask Him for a sign that I will one day leave the dessert but that it is His idea in the first place.  Even a big sign.  Even though I took what I had just read as my 'sign' being me, I asked God to give me another sign.  It may take awhile as it isn't something that could happen right away.  In spite of having to wait, God chose to give me a different sign.  A list of things I have learned from the rough week.  Things He is using to mold me into who He wants me to be.  Things I would have never learned otherwise.  Things I can share and use.  It looks something like this.

God is faithful even if I am not.

He has a plan and it will work out because He can see the whole picture not just the one pixel that I see.

I can be my own attorney in a lot of ways.

He loves my children more than I ever could.

The court house is a bounty of free information and help!

People are more willing to do their job when you treat them like people.

People want you to say Thank you.

All hard work brings profit.

Don't believe every 'that is impossible' you hear.

Keep calm.

Don't be afraid.

It is no big deal to God and HE is still on the Throne.

He works it out in the end.

This is about Him and not me.

I know Mrs. Elliot went through some very hard times in her life.  To never question worked for her.  But, I am not her.  God has not only allowed me to question, He has let me know that as long as I am working to serve Him, He will meet me where I am.  He delights to make smoldering stubs out the times when life shakes us like trees of the forest are shaken by the wind.

 

Getting Back to Normal After A Life Storm

Once upon a time, a storm hit my life.  In the aftermath I looked around and to my surprise there was debris everywhere.  Total chaos and confusion.  Okay, I really should not have been surprised, but when you're in the midst of a storm sometimes the storm is all you can see. Especially, if the storm is a long time coming and then continues to go on and on and on, and on..and...yes, on. 

There was no order or structure anywhere it seemed.  I struggled to find one little place, one little thing that was 'right' after such a horrendous event, for this was no small storm.  When I did find one thing I clung to it for dear life, for me, it was reading my Bible daily.  

It was the one thing I could do, somedays it was all I could do, to hang on to reality, normalcy and structure.  Then one day I realized that I was ready for more.  It was a long hard road to get there and the next step was figuring out what needed to be done to regain some structure.  After many failed attempts, I came to the conclusion that I needed to take baby steps.  So, one at a time, I added things.  

I homeschool my 4 youngest children so this came next on the list.  To do school everyday in a routine manor.  Once that was going well and I knew I was ready for more (which took months I might add) I added some necessary things around the house.  It seemed overwhelming at first but I thought of the little poem that goes something like this:
Monday: Wash Day
Tuesday: Ironing Day
Wednesday: Sewing Day
Thursday: Market Day
Friday: Cleaning Day
Saturday: Baking Day
Sunday: Day of Rest
 

At least it gave me a place to start.  I don't sew or iron so I changed some things.  Mine looked more like this:
Monday: Wash Day (this means I do 4-5 loads of laundry and put it all away.  The rest of the week I only have to do 1 per day)
Tuesday: Kitchen Day (includes cleaning a couple of shelves in the fridge, making some freezer meals, baking bread and cleaning cabinets inside and out.  Not all the same week of course!  Some weeks I may do 1, others 2 sometimes I may be on a roll and get 2 1/2 done.)
Wednesday: Office Day (paying bills, working on my budget, balancing checkbook, filing papers, cleaning bookshelves, making lists, etc)
Thursday: Project Day (I love projects.  This can be anything from painting the bathroom cabinet to making paper bunnies with the grandboys.  Kind of my reward day.)
Friday: Cleaning Day (this includes all rooms inside, garage, our vehicle, and silly but the yard and garden go here)
Saturday: Sabbath (Our Sabbath is from Friday at sundown to Saturday at Sundown)
Sunday: First day of the week.  The Lords Day (we go to church then enjoy fellowship with family and or friends)
 

I am not an over achiever so I only give 1-2 hours to each item per day.  Of course some take longer, but the general rule is that I try to not get in over my head, overwhelmed, then give up.
I actually sat down and wrote a list of everything I had to do in a week then for a day.  I prioritized it, made 'morning routine' and 'evening routine' lists.  Later I was able to add things like 'before lunch routine' 'lunch time routine' 'after lunch routine' and one of my favorites when I had young children '4:00 routine' (time to pick up those toys from the day and put school books away).  

It has never worked in our house to say, "everyday at 10:00 we are going to do history"  it does work, however, to say, "everyday when Language Arts are finished we will do History".  Eventually, I was able to figure out how many hours I have in my day, then decide how much time I wanted to spend on each 'to do' item on my list.  Next, was making the list of what 'to do item' goes where.  When I made groups of routines it seems doable. 

 As I put my focus on the little bit I could do each day, time passed.   I looked around, the storm was over, life was good and I smiled.